do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
