You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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