M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
