Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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