I want to stick my p in your. b.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He shit in the fireplace
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