My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
