Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
