Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
