apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
