omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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