i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My Sexting was not on an AP level
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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