K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
