there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
