Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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