oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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