just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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