I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
