I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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