i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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