so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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