Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
