What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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