turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
