Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize