I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
