Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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