yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
