woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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