She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
