whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
