what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
