So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
