He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
