I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
