Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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