this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I touched a dick in church today
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
