So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
