butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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