physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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