Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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