remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
