At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We are all done wearing pants today
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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