he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
