u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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