Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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