its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
