hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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