That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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