I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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