it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
