Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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