My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
