that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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