dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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