The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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