I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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