Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
