I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
