Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
