Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
