so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
