Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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