Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
