do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
