what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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