Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
