Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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